david v34.0

Time for another annual product review! The thing that I do so infrequently that my last one was at v31.0 in January 2019. This time I’m not writing it as a series of release notes. Gotta shake it up! And my thoughts just aren’t flowing like that right now.

Obviously a lot has happened in the past three years, not just to me but to the world. I have been in a very privileged position to mitigate a lot of the issues that have cropped up. My family is general healthy, still employed, and in a safe position.

Writing and Coding

I haven’t written in this blog in almost two years, and I keep telling myself that will change. I don’t want to be the kind of blogger who only updates to say, “long time no see!”, or, “more incoming”. But alas, here we are.

At the very least, I have been keeping my newsletter going on an almost weekly basis, so it’s not like I’ve been doing nothing! I’ve just been doing it in a different form wiht a different type of feedback. I’m quite liking that return to newslettering, and I have plans for a second one that I want to try to form an actual community around this year. You should subscribe and see what interesting things I’m finding online.

I’ve started a new coding project for the year, which is both exciting and daunting. My intent is to code up as much as I can on some artistic project each month, with a new project to start out each month. Whatever I have I will share publicly by the end of the month and hopefully blog about. I’m really pumped on the idea, but I’ve already stalled out on month one a bit!

I’m working on the blog post to hopefully put up tomorrow, but January’s goal is to create a basic Full Site Editing theme to start using on my personal site and get a feel for how themes would be developed for clients and for public release. I’m fairly excited, but also intimidated by the concept. Still, I want to see improvement in the space, and I want to work on my very lackluster design abilities. Maybe that’ll be a future project…

Personal Stuff

This has been one of the biggest areas of growth in the past few years for me. Like a lot of folks, I’ve used the separation from constant events and being in public around ohters granted by the pandemic to do a bit of introspection. A topic that’s fascinated me for years has been identity. Both in how we form and shape it for ourselves, and how we reflect that back onto others. I think that internet technology has done a lot to morph self conception, and it is truly something worth studying more in depth. Something that I personally want to study more in depth.

For those who can take a cursory glance at me, I am in fact gay (surprise!). For those who know me a bit better, you may know that’s overly simplistic, as I’ve complicated myself enough that I don’t really know where I’m at. Here’s a list of things that I’ve been thinking about my gender and sexuality over the past few years: gay, agender, pansexual, non-binary, polyromantic, transgender, polyamorous. I don’t think that all of these fit me, and certainly not all of the time, but it’s a start. I have pretty consistently stuck with the label queer, as it’s one that I’m ok with simplifying something complex and amorphous and not really necessary to label.

โ€œNot queer like gay. Queer like, escaping definition. Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness at once. Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered. Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look likeโ€ฆand pursue it.โ€

โ€”Brandon Wint

For what it’s worth, many people are going to see me for the first time in years having moved from using he/him pronouns and being married to a man. Still that, but also preferring they/them pronouns, more outwardly presenting myself as queer, and in a loving relationship with that same man, as well as transgender and non-binary partners who make me just as happy in different ways, having taught me new ways to love and be loved. I’m excited to meet you all over again!

I can’t tell how many folks think that I just got lazy with my own name, but I have in fact stopped capitalizing it last year. I’ve got a bunch of reasons for that, but I admit that I’ve taken a lot of inspiration from two writers who I have great respect for, danah boyd and the unfortunately passed bell hooks. There’s a lot that I could give about why I made this decision, but suffice to say it’s complicated in the same way that any part of being human is.

Moving into another year

I’m rambling a lot but I wanted my birthday post to let out a bit of this stuff in a place other than my newsletter or in private chats with friends. I promise that there is more to come but for now I am going to celebrate my birthday with some loved ones today who go out of their way to make me feel good.

If we’re meeting again after a while or for the first time: hello, my name is david. I’m queer, I’m tremendously thankful for everything in my life, I’m working on getting a little better every day, and I love you ๐Ÿ’

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